Here it is:
Mueller investigative session results 10/18/2018:--
"It has been found and substantiated by two sources in the Trump campaign and two sources from Russia that a team of KGB agents in unison with a team of private security agents on the payroll of Donald Trump, abducted Hillary Clinton on February 19, 2016 and held her for three days in which they performed the following:
- They performed a Vulcan mind meld on Mrs. Clinton that turned her into a bitch
- They forced her to sign documents selling uranium rights to the Russian government
- They forced her to watch video of Monica Lewinsky applying lotion to her husband's privates
- They showed her documentation that her daughter, Chelsea, has an IQ of 42
- They forced Mrs. Clinton to watch 77 hours of continuous video testimony of 193 million Americans who individually explain why they hate Hillary and want her in prison
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