Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The Obama Press Conference - The Holger CliffsNotes

For those of you who either refused to or couldn't stomach listening to the Obama Press Conference yesterday, I have provided below the Holger CliffsNotes of what he said:

  • My Administration has done everything right
  • My Administration will go down in history as the best ever
  • I still hate this fucking country of America
  • If you are pregnant, do not saddle yourself with that punishment and have the baby aborted immediately
  • I will work with Donald Trump throughout the transition - unless I have to play golf, play on my Blackberry or use dope
  • I will contact world leaders over the next two months to totally fuck the world over even more than I already did
  • In regards to the anti-Trump protests, I really don't know anything more than you folks from what you see on tv
  • Lastly, in regards to the missed photo op of Michelle and me with the Trumps at the White House last week, being a sensitive, metrosexual guy like I am, I thought it unfair to make my wife see a photo of a couple where the husband's ass is actually bigger than the wife's


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