He ascended to the Dome of the Capital, dressed in the holy suit and tie.
Upon arrival the assembled chapter of the Congress, the Holy Justices of the land, the members of the anointed Cabinet and guests from near and far, the Anointed One, Wearer of the Mantle of Power, spoke:
I speak not to the assemblage here, but to the nation as a whole,All through the speech, Pelosi the Loud, kept rising in joy like a yo-yo. She guided the assembled in their cheers.
I know of your pain, I have heard your cries of anguish,
The child whose college dreams are shattered,
The business that is going under,
The job that is gone.
I will fix that all.
This Recession is not My fault, it was the doing of others,
It was others that destroyed our Health Care, Schools and Jobs.
But I have heard your cries, and I will repair the damage.
We will have less, work more, and struggle harder,
But we will prevail.
I have foreseen all this.
The law that I just created was a start, there will be many more like it.
There will be jobs, I promise you that.
There will be more money in your hand,
This 1st of April, on that.
I will bring to all the blessings of Health with no cost to you,
I will bring to all the blessings of college, that wonderful place, to your children, with no cost to you,
I will bring to you the blessings of Wealth, with no cost to you,
Through Me we will cure all the problems that we face.
I know where the answers lie,
Not in the former wizards of the past,
but in the new wizards of technology that will be green and good.
New wizards that will banish the foreign oil demon back to the gates of Hell,
New wizards who when given the right amount of funds, will solve all of our energy needs and clean the environment too.
But we cannot wait, we must forge ahead,
We must spread the wealth around to all young and old.
I will even balance the budget, by 2015, so it is told.
I will sit with our enemies and listen to them,
Will make the radicals of Islam kneel before all,
I will bring peace to the Israelis, Palestinians too,
Have sent My envoy Mitchell to bring them the truth too.
I have signed the order,
We torture no more,
And the prison of Gitmo will be gone for ever more.
We will deal with the prisoners like the criminals they are,
In Our courts and with juries, and I know they will walk.
For through Me, All things are possible.
For through Me, All things will be made whole.
For through Me, Our economy will recover.
For I am the Hope and the Change.
I will bring us all to the Land of Plenty.
After the speech the media hacks, gushed glowing terms over each word the Anointed One spoke.
They called it brilliant, enlightened and bold.
They clamored over each other, trying to be the first to praise Him.
That is until a small voice said:
Wait just a minute!The hacks looked around to see who had spoke, in tones that weren't glowing of their Anointed One.
He tells you that He will do all these things.
Balancing the budget, Health Care, Education, Jobs and Wealth.
And without tax increases, just spend more He said.
And if that doesn't work, we will just spend more again.
You cannot keep spending like there is no tomorrow.
Sooner or later the money will run out.
You have to raise taxes, to cover your expenses.
This Emperor we have, is telling us lies.
We cannot do all this, yet He will try.
He will spend so much money, that there will be none left,
For the daily running of this nations defense.
They saw to their horror a brave man in the corner.
It was none other than the Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal the Prophet.
Jindal the prophet, spoke to them of responsibility,
Of how this nation needs to start producing its own goods again.
Of how this nation needs to spend less and save more.
Of how this nation didn't negotiate with our foes.
The hacks just smiled and shooed The Prophet away.
Then they returned to the glow of the Anointed One.
But many in the nation heard the words of Jindal the Prophet.
They looked to each other and nodded in agreement.
Just wait Anointed One, in just 4 years.
This prophet will be singing our praises.
For the Anointed One's star is starting to descend.
From ratings of 80% now to just 59%.
He may not last at this high rate. Especially if the economy tanks.
Hope may come to the land,
Not without hardship.
Change will come, just let it be soon.
6 comments:
Who knew Republicans would be such fun as whiney sore loosers? Almost as whiney as the liberals in 2004, almost. Sorry y'all, but this "resession" is going to be too big to just "tax cut" our way out of it. Fighting a six year war in Iraq without raising taxes to pay for such a war? Only the Republicans. "Oil revenues will pay for Iraqs reconstruction", remember that one? Seriously - the Obama plan makes more sense to more people right now than the Republicans "more tax cuts" mantra. That Jindal speech was awful, but I applaud him trying to get his party back to its Goldwater roots. At least he realizes that Republicans are in trouble when they have lost their reputation as the party of fiscal responsibility and smaller government. This country usually swings left in rough financial times, so relax right wingers, your day will come again in 8, 12 years, though probably not in 4. Please run Piyush "Bobby" Jindal and Sara Palin in 2012 that would be comedy gold. At least Republicans still have the Evangelicals.
Just what we need? FDR did such a great job on the Great Depression that he "managed" it for 4 to 5 years longer than it might have been. You are correct in saying the Republicans abandoned their fiscal responsibility values, but depending on tax and spend liberals with absolutly no values on fiscal responsibilty is not a solution. In the 30's Americans still knew how to build and make things, most of the folks still lived on the farm. Just how, exactly, are we going to "Service" our way out of this one?
We still no how to build and make things - people in China and India just work cheaper so the jobs are gone. People need to learn to ditch their useless lawns and plant gardens,run a trot line if the river ain't too polluted. You're right though - thanks to what I call the candyassing of America we are way less prepared for this than we were 70 years ago. If we can spend a billion a week fighting a useless and unnecessary war in Iraq then we can do something here. Sorry - if Iraq would not use WMDs to repel an invasion then they didn't have them, the fool was bluffing all along to keep Iran at bay. Now that we essentially won the Iran - Iraq war for Iran I guess its a non issue. Everything Iran wanted for Iraq we delivered for them - and it only costs about a billion a week.
Shark,
Well said. I'm hearing more and more that Obama will end up taking the position that he "saved" 3 million jobs when the stats keep showing that no jobs have been created.
Unfortunately, nothing is probably going to stop this steamroller. I'm waiting for the inflation to start...that's gonna be a runaway train that will make the last 3 months look like a walk in the park.
:Holger Danske
Not inflations Holger, hyperinflation. Just like there is in Zimbabwe. We are heading down that road very quickly.
The whole cost of the war in Iraq will tell about 1 year after we pull out. If they are still struggling to become a democracy then it was money well spent, if by our precipitous pull out the shit hits the fan, then it might have been a waste of 8 years and treasure. The reason that we went IN is moot, the fact remains we spent blood and treasure there, it had best mean something. If we just stay as long as required for them to get on their feet it will be job that needed to be done.
Wait and see how bad things get out there in the rest of the world while we are hamstrung with this liberal socialist dishrag of a president that we have.
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