Okay, so I have to meet with my tax guy coming up in about two weeks - bringing in all my "stuff" and facing the doom and the gloom. But then, it occurred to me...I just might have an answer to impending tax obligations! A silver lining for a potential black cloud! Now, my tax guy and I have a history of me sitting there rolling off potential itemized deductions while he stares at me and rolls his eyes and shakes his head...so perhaps that will continue this year, but I have an idea I have stumbled onto something this year. The Stimulus Bill, passed by Congresss and signed by President Obama represents some HUGE tax expenses for me (that's because I work for a living and actually pay taxes). So, in preparation for my meeting with the gnarly old dude, I have assembled my list of ideas for potential Stimulus Bill deductions on my Itemized Deductions. Here they are:
Stimulus Bill Itemized Deductions?
1. $2,468.28 for building materials (primarily steel and concrete) for two bridges being built on the route I take to work.
2. $473.59 for STD pamphlets being distributed in my county.
3. $3,942.38 for teacher salary increases so they can stay out of the poor house for the 7 months of the year that they actually work.
4. $1,326.71 for the red bricks that will be going into remodeling the elementary school down the street that cost us $8.2 million to build 13 years ago.
5. $584.22 for federal employees' Volt cars (I'm thinking next year this might be closer to $1,000 after we have to pay for 176,000 tows).
6. $337.63 for Amtrak trains - come to think of it, I'm not sure I even remember what a train looks or sounds like.
7. $822.04 for military vehicles on American bases that run on used vegetable oil rather than gasoline or diesel. I call this the "Green for Green" deduction.
8. $1.119.38 for public computers at my local community college - so old farts from across the city can stand in line to use one of these modern marvels while college kids sit at them for hours playing COD4.
9. $273.44 for smoking cessation picnics being held over the summer and the police fund debits for calls being made to those sites due to altercations caused by hundreds of people trying to quit smoking being forced to play volleyball in 100 degree temperatures.
10. $732.92 for a new Coast Guard ice breaker ship - this one might be tricky if this global warming trend continues and there isn't any more polar ice left.
So, there you have the list. What do you think? Do I have a chance with Mr. Grumpy when I sit down with him in a couple of weeks?
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