DATE: August 22, 2020
TO: President Donald J. Trump
FROM: Holger Awakens
RE: A Big "Thank You!"
Mr. President, it is way past time that I take a moment to thank you for the past 3.5+ years in which you have served as President of this country. The specific items I want to thank you for this day include:
- Disappointing and traumatizing Hillary "Rotten" Clinton to the point of her current chronic alcoholism and the fact that she cannot even appear in public
- Driving the Nancy Pelosi's and the Adam Schiff's and the Chuck Schumer's and the Jerrold Nadler's into an utter state of madness and rage
- Driving 25 million devout Communist punks back into their basements (and off our streets) so they can type "#resist" tweets 24/7/365
- Demoting America's "journalists" and media to a job that is now viewed as somewhere between a tire polisher at a car wash and a street whore who only does rim jobs
- And most of all, I want to thank you for the joyous music I hear each night as 50 million Liberals go to bed whimpering and sobbing into their pillows, their little hands curled into little fists as they scream "It just isn't fair!" into their damp pillow cases
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